Hopelessly Devoted to You
by Vicky4
Summary: A man is released from jail which upsets Jesse so much, he starts recieving threats and his dad is killed. Jesse starts drinking in his dispair, will his friends be able to find out the cause of Jesse's pain in time to save him, or will his past catch up
1. The Release

Hopelessly devoted to you  
  
Disclaimer: None of the characters, Mark, Steve, Jesse, Amanda, Dane Travis, CJ, Dion or Susan belong to me, I am just borrowing them from CBS. No money is intended from this story.  
  
E-mail: Vicky.ratcliff@virgin.net  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Summary - Answers following Challenges:  
  
65:Why did Jesse decide to become a doctor and why does he like Susan so much?  
  
90: The gang is at Marks house watching the news when its announced that a man is being released from prison after serving a five year sentence. This news makes Jesse very angry. Mark, Steve and Amanda try to find out why Jesse is so upset.  
  
159: After his father's death, Jesse becomes depressed and starts drinking. One night Mark, Amanda send Steve out to find Jesse, when he does Jesse is very drunk and he tells Steve a secret from his past. Will the gang be able to help Jesse?  
  
The Release  
  
It was a bright sunny afternoon and Dr. Jesse Travis was sitting lazily on the beach talking with his closest friends he had for a long time, Dr. Mark Sloan and his son Lt. Steve Sloan and Dr. Amanda Bentley. Her children, CJ and Dion had also joined them and for the first time in what seemed like ages they had all had the day off and had spent it on the beach together, and had just finished eating lunch. They had decided to sit down and rest before taking their dinner plates back into Mark's beach house, which he shared with Steve, and were reflecting on the mornings events, being promoted by the boys to come and play again, "Uncle Steve and Uncle Jesse", CJ began, "Please can you come and play with us again in the water",  
  
"Yeah, please, it was really fun, and besides I want to get you this time, instead of being splashed myself" finished Dion.  
  
"Now boys, remember what I said before", Amanda prompted, "After lunch we sit down and leave Uncle Steve and Jesse alone to rest, you had them all morning to play with, now it's our turn to spend time with them."  
  
"And besides, you need to let all those BBQ ribs settle down in you stomach before you go in the water otherwise you'll get ill." Mark added coming to her defence. At this the boys settled down to a game of 'I spy' whilst Amanda silently thanked Mark for his input. She knew that they both respected Mark as a granddad figure, almost in the way she had come to think of Mark as a second father, he was someone special to the whole Bentley household, as were her best friends Steve and Jesse. This was her family and she was very happy sitting there with them all.  
  
Not long after CJ and Dion had contented themselves a little dark skinned girl, with short black hair and green eyes passed by them, she couldn't have been more than about three, and she looked really lost, turning around in all directions to find someone she knew. Her eyes finally settled on Jesse.  
  
"Olivia" Jesse suddenly cried out, but instead of responding the girl ran away back to the arms of who was presumably her mother.  
  
"What?" Steve asked Jesse, "Do you know her?"  
  
"Umm, no", Jesse replied looking very awkward, "she just reminded me of someone I used to know," he offered lamely, although Steve would have pressed the matter further, as he was sure that his best friend really had been surprised and delighted at seeing this 'Olivia' and then he had this faraway look and what Steve thought was a tear in his eye when he realized that was not who she was. Mark noticed it too, and he could see that Jesse was in no mood to answer questions about what had just happened, so he suggested that they clear the plates away and settle down in the house with a game to amuse the boys who had begun to get restless with their game anyway.  
  
As Jesse helped Mark and the others clear away, he starred back at where the little girl, 'it looked so much like her' he thought, 'Then again, there's no way it could have been, she's been dead for about ten years now', he continued to think, a tear coming to his eye, 'come on Jesse, pull yourself together than episode of your life is over, the monster who killed her is away forever, she got her justice as did her mother, now go back in there with a happy face and enjoy yourself. That's and order.' Jesse concluded slightly louder than he had intended,  
  
"What is Uncle Jesse?" Asked CJ innocently,  
  
"What? Oh nothing, I was just talking to myself, don't worry, people do that all the time, and you will someday," Jesse quickly explained, happy that no one else seemed to hear him mentally telling himself off. He then continued to help clear away the rest of the dishes before settling down with the others to play a game of cards, although CJ and Dion had been settled down by Amanda with a computer game which according to her, was something they could play at for hours without disturbing them.  
  
After a couple of rounds of rummy, it looked like Steve was winning, as usual! Before they had a chance to even try and catch up however, the phone rang. Jesse was closest so he picked it up. It was Steve's captain, suggesting that they turn on the TV to watch Mark's most recent high profile victory, which happened to be catching and exposing the leader of the earthonomists. They turned on the TV just in time to see the news bulletin, which had an interview with both Mark and Steve's captain, and a few glimpses of Steve. They all cheered at their friends, who once again were hero's as the report came to an end. Then something caught Jesse's eye. He looked again and blinked, tears started forming in his eyes and he clenched his fist. None of the others noticed and Jesse starred at the screen getting madder and madder until he eventually let his anger out,  
  
"How DARE they let that monster out", he's already done enough damage, he shouldn't be allowed to do anymore." Jesse cried out in anger, tears steaming down his face. "Why ever not Jesse?" Mark asked,  
  
"Yeah" Steve commented, he's served his six year sentence and it was only a theft, from that account he's sorry about what he did and is ready to make a new life."  
  
"It all seems reasonable and everyone deserves a second chance," Amanda agreed,  
  
"Why?" Jesse almost screamed, "Why? You ask why? I'll tell you why, because he's ruined enough lives and shouldn't be allowed to ruin anymore, he has committed serious crimes, and they've let him out, he should have rotted in his cell."  
  
"Jesse that's a bit harsh it was only theft and you don't even know who he is or exactly what he did." Mark stated  
  
"I'm sorry Mark, he shouldn't have been allowed out," Jesse said a little calmer, "Um, excuse me, I think I need to go home now, have fun," Jesse said,  
  
"Jesse wait," Amanda started,  
  
"Bye," Jesse said as he walked out the door, tears streaming down his face. He went straight to his car and sat down in the driver's seat, he hit his head on the steering wheel and just continued to cry. It wasn't fair, why should he be allowed out, Olivia and her mother hadn't gotten the justice they deserved after all, his country had failed them and so had he. He sat there for a few more minutes before leaving, without giving a single thought to the bewildered friends he had just left behind. 


	2. The Subsiding Shock

The subsiding shock  
  
A few days later, Jesse returned back to the hospital. He had taken a couple of days off on sick leave, he hadn't felt like going anywhere or talking to anyone and he had dreaded speaking to Mark, Amanda and Steve, what must they have thought of him? There was no way he could have told them, he wasn't ready too, he wasn't ready to tell anyone yet, it hurt too much and was buried way too deep inside of him. He had realised though that although he hadn't answered any phone calls he couldn't hide forever and whilst he was feeling better he might as well get it over with.  
  
He had managed to avoid his friends all morning, although he hadn't gone out of his way to make sure he didn't see them, he hadn't exactly made a point of finding them. He made his way into the doctors lounge where he planned to eat his lunch, he wasn't in the mood for eating in the busy canteen and it would only mean more people he had to talk to that he didn't really feel like conversing with. Finally the inevitable happened. He had been settled with his lunch, personal stereo playing some of the relaxing Jazz music that Lucy had loved so much, and he had a good book. Actually that book had been Lucy's favourite childhood book, although Jesse remembered how she had never grown up and it would still have been her favourite book now if she were here, Olivia loved it too, though she wasn't quite old enough to understand it, it was a book all about animals coming to life, similar to 'The Wind in the Willows' but for slightly younger children. It had been used so much, but Jesse didn't mind, reading it bought back happy memories for him.  
  
Just at that point Mark came in the doctors lounge and noticing Jesse he started a conversation,  
  
"So you've come back to civilisation have you?" He started, hoping that a slight joke would stop the meeting from feeling too awkward.  
  
"What? Oh yeah, I suppose so." Jesse mumbled before turning back to his book.  
  
"Jess, please, I don't know what it was that really upset you, but we're your friends Jess, we aren't here to criticize you, but to help you." Mark continued,  
  
"Yeah I know, I'm sorry I left like that Mark, I shouldn't have you know, but I was just so made, so angry, something really upset me, something I had no control over, you know?"  
  
"Yeah I know what you mean Jess, it's so overwhelming, and it kind of seems to take over your entire body," "Exactly, that's what it was like." Jesse said, he paused for a while and Mark just let him think, "you know, it bought something back into my life, a chapter I came to LA to forget about, something which really hurt. I thought I'd finally gotten over it, I have friends who I could almost call family, and it well turned my world upside down."  
  
"We are your family Jess, we'll always be there for you, whatever happens, you don't have to explain why you reacted in the way you did, but we just want to help you, if we can, if not, just to listen, whatever it was really affected you." Mark continued,  
  
"You know Mark, there's nothing you can really do, it's something I've got to work out on my own, if I don't get control of it now, I never will. But thanks for just saying so and being a friend."  
  
"Anytime Jess, remember that." Mark paused, "What was it about that news bulletin that affected you anyway?" Jesse froze, this was one question he really didn't want to go into and he hoped Mark wouldn't press him on it,  
  
"Umm, I don't really know Mark, it was just that well he'd just reminded me of something that happened a long time ago." Jesse said lamely,  
  
"Jess, that's not going to help anyone, do you want to start at the beginning and tell me from there?"  
  
"It's a long story Mark", Jesse said hoping to put him off,  
  
"I've got all the time for you," Mark responded in the wrong way,  
  
"Umm, Mark, it's not that it's just that I don't really want to talk about it, not yet anyway, I'm not really ready." Jesse said hoping he hadn't just offended his friend.  
  
"Don't worry Jess, when your ready to talk about it, I'm always here." Mark reminded him.  
  
"Thanks" Jesse said as his friend walked out to attend to his rounds. Jesse settled back to his memories of Lucy and Olivia for the remainder of his lunch break before he too headed back out to do his rounds. 


	3. The Threats

The Threats  
  
Authors note: This is still being written, please be patient and keep r/r it's really helpful. I promise I will finish it but little things like A Levels and coursework keep getting in the way at the moment. Hope you all enjoy the next part.  
  
A few days later, Jesse was just finishing up his rounds at the hospital and was on his way out to the car. He was whistling and for the first in about a week, he was actually feeling happy. He was talking to all his friends again, and although none of them had understood why Jesse had reacted in the way he had, they all knew that he wasn't ready to explain and so they didn't press him until they knew he was. He had managed to get out of the building this time, he had tried it hours before, but had been held up by an emergency. Now all he wanted was a nice relaxing shower, a hot pizza and a good television show to watch before going to bed.  
  
Jesse wondered through the door to the parking lot and walked over to his car, he opened up and dumped his bag onto the backseat before sitting down and starting the engine. Just as he was about to drive away, he noticed a piece of paper on his windscreen. He stopped the engine and opened his window and picked up the piece of paper. It turned out to be an envelope, with his name printed on it. Jesse opened it up wondering what it could be. None of his friends would leave a note on his car, and he was pretty sure it wouldn't be one of his colleagues either. Jesse decided the only way to find out would be to read it. He looked down at the note inside and shuddered, his good mood had just been ruined. It read;  
  
I know what your car is Jesse, I'm watching you and I'm gonna finish what I started.  
  
Jesse wondered who on earth would target him with such a note. It wasn't written, but was typed in a random style font, that looked like the letters had all been cut out of a magazine. It was more like something that you would find in a film, not in real life. It was different to anything he'd ever seen or experienced, and it scared him. Had it not have been his name, it wouldn't have worried him, after all his car wasn't exactly unusual around LA.  
  
Jesse started his car and started his journey home, the note at the back of his mind. As he parked in his driveway and wondered up into his apartment, he felt every pair of eyes on him. Although it was probably not true, the note really had shaken him and he really did feel watched. He decided not to have the shower and suddenly Jesse didn't feel Hungry, he decided that going straight to bed would be the best thing; he might wake up and find that it wasn't true.  
  
Jesse unlocked his front door, and as he did so he tripped over the mail which lay there since as he hadn't been home to collect it yet. He bent over to pick it up. There was a few bills nothing he particularly wanted to see, a post card from his Dad telling him what a great time he was having on holiday in England, that just made Jesse jealous, his Dad never did anything with him, except the one time where he got him into trouble and it seemed that all he ever did was gloat over what he was doing, which was always infinitely better than what Jesse was doing. The final letter was in a small white envelope with his name printed on it, Jesse wondered what it was for a split second before realizing that it was exactly the same typing on the envelope as the note he had been left on his car. Not really wanting to see what was written inside Jesse opened the envelope and let out an involuntary shudder when he read the word;  
  
I know what your home is Jesse, I'm watching you and I'm gonna finish what I started.  
  
He really had no idea what to do, he didn't want to tell Steve or Mark, they had done so much for him and he really didn't want to worry them. He considered going to Amanda, but he knew she would insist that he tell Mark and Steve, and his Dad would just be annoyed that he interupt his holiday. Jesse decided that the best thing to do would be to sleep on it, and give it a fresh outlook in the morning. So he threw the post down on the table and wondered into his his bedroom where he collapsed on the bed, too exauhsted by the events of the day to even get changed. Jesse was soon asleep, the troubles of the day left behind him for a few hours at least.  
  
The following morning Jesse was woken up by birds singing, he had forgotten to set his alarm clock which mean he was a little later getting up that he ought to have been. He quickly went to the bathroom and dressed before rushing outside to his car in order to get to the hospital on time. The events of the previous day had totally escaped his mind and he didn't even noticed the open notes on the table as he left.  
  
Jesse arrived at the hospital, in a happy mood, albeit he was about half an hour later than he should have been. As he was wondering through the corridors on his rounds he bumbed into Mark.  
  
"Hi Jesse, I've been looking for you." Mark greeted his friend,  
  
"Hi Mark, what can I do for you?" Jesse replied,  
  
"It's actually what I can do for you." Mark continued leaving Jesse with a slightly puzzled look on his face, "You've got mail", Mark finished,  
  
"Oh thanks Mark, you had me all confused" Jesse explained as he took the letter Mark was handing him. Suddenly he froze, it was a small white envelope with his name printed on it,  
  
"Somthing wrong Jess" Mark asked gently as he noticed Jesse's face,  
  
"What? Oh no, nothing Mark, it just reminded me of something, thats all." Jesse tried to assure him,  
  
"You sure?"  
  
"Yeah Mark, everythings fine, it's nothing." Jesse said more definitly this time.  
  
"Well if your sure, I'll see you later for dinner." Mark finished,  
  
"Yep, at 8:00pm your house." Jesse confirmed as the two friends parted.  
  
Jesse decided to go to the doctors lounge to open this latest envelope which he really didn't want anyone else to see. Thankfully there was no one else around when he got there and he settled down to open his letter. To his surprise the envelope did not contain a treatening note, but an invitation to Community General's annual dinner party. For once Jesse was really happy the hospital decided to hold the events which he normally did his best to get out of.  
  
Jesse finally decided there was no need to worry about the other notes, they were probably just a couple of kids having a laugh and trying to scare him. He decided there and then he would dispose of them when he got home that evening. In the mean time he would finish his shift at the hopital, not letting the notes get to him, and then he would have a good time with his friends tonight, it would not be a repeat of the last time he spent time with them. For the first time since last week Jesse finally felt he could continue his life as it was before. 


	4. The Nightmare

The Nightmare  
  
Authors note: Sorry it took so long to get around to another part, but well a million things have happened and my world's been turned upside down a couple of times, but I'm back with the next part, so y'all getta see what's happened now..sorry guys...please enjoy and R & R!!  
  
"You ready yet Jess?" Came the voice of his best friend Steve, "I mean we have been waiting for ages now, your only getting ready for the dinner party, it's not like you're getting an award or getting married, please hurry up!" he tried again,  
  
"I'm coming, you know what you're trouble is Steve Sloan? You have no patience whatsoever, and well I do wanna look my best, never know who I'll meet." He replied with a checky grin, "After all I am a free man now" he said, and adding under his breath, 'since Susan left anyway'.  
  
"Well, she'd better be worth it..if she's even there!" Steve teased, "You ready Dad, Amanda's gonna kill us for being late picking her up!"  
  
"Yeah, lets go" Came the reply from Mark.  
  
They had eventually only ended up picking Amanda up a few minutes late, and had gotten to Community General on time. They all entered the hospital, wondering why on earth it was that they went to the events which they hated so much. Just another load of doctors all drinking too much and showing off, trying to see how much they could further they're career, and they didn't all come from their own hospital. Still Jesse was optimistic, hopefully he'd meet someone to take his mind of the events of the past couple of days, he really did need to move on from Susan, and more specifically Lucy and Olivia, though he would never ever be able to forget them.  
  
The event was actually going well for once, Jesse had spoken to a few of his collegues, and laughed and joked with some of the doctors he respected so much from other hospitals. The dinner itself had been really good this year, much better than the year he'd had to organize it, that was something he would definitely never volunteer to do again! Everything had been going smoothly, until his pager had gone off, again, he was needed in ER. He excused himself, told Mark, who as usual decided to come and help his young friend, and together they went to the ER.  
  
One of EMT's, and a good friend of Jesse's started informing them of the situation as soon as they entered the room,  
  
", White male approximately 50 years old with a gun shot wound near the heart, he's loosing blood rapidly."  
  
"Right take him down to the OR we've got to start operating now" Jesse commanded, before looking down at the lifeless bleeding body.."Da..d" Jesse stammered, before trying to take control once again,  
  
"I'm taking over now, Jess, you can't do this," Mark gently and firmly told his friend,  
  
"No, I'm fine," Jesse insisted, "Cummon, it's not like I really knew him is it?" he tried again,  
  
"No Jess, you can't do this, he's still family, I'll look after him, go wait outside."  
  
"But."  
  
"No buts Jess, go on we're loosing time, I'll do it." Mark commanded, as he watched his young friend in despair wonder to the waiting room, wishing he could make everything alright for him, knowing he could only do his best.  
  
Jesse sat down, numb, not really knowing what to think, why now, why when he was just beginning to get over Lucy and Oliver did this have to happen? Why? Why him? Thoughts of his Dad, Lucy and Oliver started to enter his mind, then suddenly it hit him, what if he was behind this, he'd been let out, he'd always insisted it was Jesse's fault he was in prision, even though Jesse had watched him drive the knife into Lucy, Oliver watching not being able to do anything, he'd seen it all and was lucky he was alive, why couldn 't it have been him all those years ago?  
  
Jesse's head had a million thought swimming through his head, he had no idea of time, how much had passed. Looking up he noticed that Steve and Amanda had found him, looking up at them he started to speak;  
  
"It's my d."  
  
"We know." Amanda said, "You'd been gone so long, we looked around to find you guys after most guests had gone, we saw the EMT, he told us, Jess they've been in there over 2 hours..." she couldn't bring herself to say it, that it didn't look good for his Dad, how could she do that, it would break him so much, but she couldn't give him false help either.  
  
"2 hours.." Jesse stammered not knowing quite what else to say, he'd had no idea, seemed only a couple of minutes, all those thoughts had just evaporated time.  
  
Just then, Mark came into view in the door, he'd somehow changed out of his tux and into scrubs, he had blood all over him, and tears in his eyes, wishing he didn't have to break the news to Jesse, he quickly shook his head,  
  
"Sorry Jess.he lost too much blood."  
  
Jesse just sat there, not knowing what to do or what to think he was numb. Suddenly he just needed to go home, get away from everything, away from the hospital, his dad, thoughts of Oliver and Lucy.  
  
"Want me to drive you home?" Steve asked, almost reading his mind.  
  
Jesse just nodded, silently they headed out to the basement, climbed in Steve's car, and headed to Jesse's apartment. Eventually they arrived, neither friend has said anything, there seemed nothing to say. Getting out of the car, Jesse said a quick 'thanks' and headed off home, his only thought going to bed and shutting out the world, his Dad, Lucy, Oliver and HIM! 


	5. The Past

The Past "Noooo, don't die on me, you can't die on me!" Jesse said, desperately, tears streaming down him face, trying to save the child and woman in front of him.  
  
"Jess" a woman said quietly, "You have to stop now, they've gone, this isn't helping anyone."  
  
"Noo, I have to try, have to try, she cannot die now" he pleaded desperately. Normally he wouldn't even have been allowed to have been in the ER when she was bought through, but no one had had the heart to deny him access, how could they when it would have broken his heart.  
  
"Cummon Jess, it's over, she's gone to a better place now, we have to leave her." She told him firmly but gently, and eventually he allowed himself to be lead away from her body lying lifelessly on the OR table.  
  
She managed to get him to the doctor's lounge, hoping that he'd be able to eat something, or at the very least be able to get some rest, without her having to sedate him. She offered, and he just starred blankly, tear marks stained his face, he'd stopped crying, but he seemed to have just forgotten the world around him, he'd withdrawn from himself, she hoped that he would come back into the world, he was such a lovely guy, and a very promising doctor, with only his final year of internship to go before he would take up residency, she hoped he would take it up there, though looking at him, she wondered if he would make it through the night, loosing someone you loved was bad enough, but two people you loved in one night and in such away, it just seemed so unfair, she really wanted to help him. Realizing that leaving him like that wouldn't help him, she lead him to a hospital bed, he made no fuse, in fact he didn't react at all, but allowed himself to be lead, again there was no emotion or reaction when she changed him hospital scrubs to a nightgown sedated him, hoping he would get some rest, perhaps enough to get him through.  
  
Jesse hadn't woken up the next morning, in fact he didn't wake up for weeks, she was beginning to wonder if he was going to stay in his self induced coma and gently slip away from them. She didn't want to see that happen, he had so much going for him, but he would be with them at least she thought, hopefully that would be happy then, it just didn't seem right, definitely not fair.  
  
"Mark, you seen Jesse?" Amanda asked, "Only he missed his shift and he was due back at work today, it's not like him."  
  
"Oh come on Amanda he did just loose his dad, and you know his mums not interested, and really he doesn't have that much family, I guess he's just trying to cope."  
  
"Yeah I guess, but it has been two weeks since any of us have seen him, do you think I should check on him tonight after my shift?"  
  
"That's a good idea, but you have the boys Amanda, I'll go and check on him, I finish in a couple of hours anyway, before you, besides you don't know what state his apartment will be in, he might object to you coming and tidying everything!"  
  
"Ok, let me know if he's ok." Amanda finished.  
  
"Will do." Mark said, leaving to finish his rounds.  
  
A couple of hours later, Mark pulled up at Jesse's apartment, he couldn't see the state of it inside, the curtains were all closed, he wondered just what Jesse had been doing in the two weeks since his dad had died. Half of him had thought about visiting Jesse, but then decided he probably needed some space, he knew where they were, and he would come to them when he needed to. Mark came up to the door and knocked, after no answer; he left it a couple more minutes and tried again. He did this several times, but Jesse didn't answer. Deciding that something had to be wrong, he reached for the spare key Jesse kept outside under the door mat and went to let himself in, finding the door was actually unlocked. Panicking for Jesse's sake he quickened his pace searching through all the rooms until he eventually found Jesse in his bedroom, lying on the bed, in what could loosely be called sleeping. He was tossing and turning, was sweating, and bright red, and kept calling out to a Lucy and Olivia alternately.  
  
Instantly realizing something was wrong, and that his dad's death had affected him more than he had realized, mark gently shook Jesse to try and wake him up. But Jesse seemed to start screaming and crying out more, Mark tried again to wake him, using more force, hoping that he wasn't the cause of Jesse's agony. This went on for several minutes, though it seemed like hours to Mark, and he had no idea what Jesse was feeling, but eventually Jesse woke, and turning round staring blankly at Mark for a few seconds before talking,  
  
"What are you doing here Mark?"  
  
"I came to see if you were alright, and from what I just witnessed you seem far from it." Mark replied in a concerned fatherly way.  
  
"No, I'm fine really, just at night time, I sometimes find that everything comes back, and sometimes I get nightmares."  
  
"Jess they were more than nightmares you're having, you need to talk to someone"  
  
"No really I'm fine, it's not as bad as you think."  
  
"Ok if you're sure" Mark eventually relented, although he was far from convinced that that was the case. "When are you coming back to work?" "Umm, I'm not sure Mark, I was thinking of taking a trip down to see Mum, you know make sure she's ok."  
  
It was a lame excuse, Mark could see it, he always bit his lip and looked down when he was lying, but Mark hoped he really was alright and was trying to sort things out, he hated to see his young friend and adopted son in such pain.  
  
"Ok, Jess, take all the time you need." Mark replied, "I have to get back to the hospital now, I'll see myself out, look after yourself ok?" "I will do." Jesse promised as Mark left, leaving him all alone, he quietly began to sob not knowing what to do as his whole life seemed to be slipping away from him. 


	6. The Pain Eased

The pain Eased  
  
A few days later, Amanda had bought the boys round to play on the beach whilst she spent some time with Mark and Steve, it felt odd Jesse not being there, but they all hoped that he was sorting himself out down with his mum. Mark had told them about his conversation with Jesse and whilst they all agreed, Jesse was worse than they thought, they were glad he was at least trying to sort himself out.  
  
As they were sitting there discussing Jesse, the door bell of the Sloan's beach house sounded, wondering who it was Steve wondered down to answer it, very very surprised to find this particular visitor here, and not in Minnesota!  
  
"Hello, can I come in, thought Jesse might be here?" said the familiar voice belonging to a lady whom Steve had met a couple of times.  
  
"Umm, yeah come in, but why are you looking for him here, he's supposed to be down with you." Steve replied, still somewhat confused, as he lead Jesse's Mum into the beach house and out onto the deck where Mark and Amanda were watching the boys playing on the beach below. "Hello," Mark said to her, "You came back with Jesse then, glad to see you, hope everything is getting back to some kind of normality."  
  
"Umm, Dad," Steve started, "It seems Jesse never made it down to Minnesota to visit his Mum, she's come here looking for him."  
  
"Yes and it seems you lot haven't been looking out for him very well have you, not knowing where he is, and at this vulnerable time." His Mum scolded them all, and Mark could see that she hadn't changes a bit since the last time she had visited Jesse and wanted him to work at her practice, no wonder he hadn't wanted too!!  
  
"Now just a minute" Amanda cried indignantly, "we have been looking out for you're son, a lot more than you have, you haven't even called him to see if he's been alright, we've checked on him once everyday and had no reason to doubt that he was going home to see you."  
  
"I can't believe you lot, I'm leaving to take care of my son on my own, you are not wanted!" she cried, and stormed out the beach house, leaving the three friends stunned and wondering what to do.  
  
The following day the three friends decided to go and see Jesse for themselves, to make sure he was alright, though knowing they'd probably have to brave the forces of his Mum who had made it more than clear that they were not welcome near them!  
  
They arrived at the drive of Jesse's house, noticing that there was only one car in the drive, Jesse's it looked as though his Mum hadn't come to see him afterall. As they approached the door, Mark noticed that all the lights were out, curtains and blinds remained open and it seemed as if Jesse hadn't been there at all, in fact there was no sign of life at all. Amanda knocked on the door, and after waiting about five minutes no answer came at all. They tried again, and still got no answer. Deciding they needed to see if Jesse was ok, Steve got out his spare key to the house and let himself in, followed closely by Mark and Amanda.  
  
Walking through the house, Mark noticed everything was exactly the same as it had been before, suspecting that Jesse was still in his bedroom, as he had been before, Mark suggested that they go straight there, though when they got there, only he went in, Amanda and Steve knowing that his dad would be able to help Jesse best. Mark opened the door and was shocked by the state of the room. Jesse had clearly moved his entire wine rack up from the kitchen to his room, although there were only about two bottles that hadn't been opened. In about a week Jesse seemed to have drunk most of the contents of his wine rack, yet there was no sign of Jesse at all. Walking further into the room, Mark had to wade through the empty wine bottles, to get to the other side of the room, and he had to resist the temptation of picking them all up to tidy the place, just incase, and he dreaded the thought, that this ended up being a crime scene.  
  
Mark finally arrived at the opposite side of the bed, and if he was shocked at seeing the wine bottles, he wasn't sure what would describe the reaction to the scene he saw before him. Jesse was lying heaped up in corner of the room, as if he had fallen out of the bed, surrounding him were several bottles of wine, all empty, on the one in his hands had any liquid in it, though most of it had already been consumed. Jesse was unshaven, worse than last time Mark had seen him, his hair hadn't been combed at all, and was a tangled mess, and Mark suspected that there was quite a bit of alcohol which was causing it to be entangled. Jesse's eyes were half open, and Mark could tell that they were red and very bloodshot but worse than that, they just starred out, into nowhere, he wasn't looking at Mark, but past him, he didn't move, stayed like a statue. His pyjamas had been worn for sometime, at least since the last time Mark had seen him and they were stained with alcohol and probably some of Jesse's perspiration too, which seemed to be dripping from his forehead. Jesse was gasping for breath too, and was totally unresponsive to Mark's presence. Jesse by all accounts was lucky to be alive, yet it didn't seem that Jesse would see it that way at all.  
  
Mark was horrified and stood there starring for ages, he had no idea that Jesse had been affected by his Fathers death this badly, that would have driven the sensible, fun loving, caring and professional doctor to something like this. Mark had known Jesse for long enough to know that there must be more to his desperate act than just his Fathers death, something deeply engrained on Jesse that he couldn't tell, and Mark knew he had to find that out if he was ever to help Jesse regain his life back. Mark was really saddened that he hadn't seen this coming and hadn't been able to help his young friend and hadn't seen this coming.  
  
Suddenly the doctor in Mark kicked in. He bent down to take Jesse's pulse, at least it was still there.  
  
"Steve, you still there?", Mark questioned,  
  
"Yup Dad, you found him?"  
  
"Yeah, he's worse than I ever imagined, Steve I need you to call an Ambulance, and wait for it to arrive, show the paramedics up here, and tell them to come fast, I don't know how much time we've got."  
  
"On it Dad."  
  
"Is there anything I can do?" Amanda asked  
  
"Yeah, if you could come in here and clear up a bit, give me some space to sort Jesse out." He asked  
  
Amanda walked into the room, clearly not prepared for what she was about to see. Amanda drew in a sharp breath of air,  
  
"Mark what on earth has been happening here?" she questioned, clearly shocked and affected by it, "Why didn't we see this coming?"  
  
"I don't know honey, I just don't know. But I need you to clear up the bottles, and move the bed away from the wall a bit more so that I can get Jesse into a more comfortable position to help with his breathing until the ambulance comes."  
  
Amanda busied herself tidying up and helped Mark as best she could, everything was done solemnly none of them spoke, not even when the ambulance came and took Jesse away. They finished tidying up Jesse's house and followed silently in the car, knowing that it was going to take an awful lot to get Jesse back on the road to recovery. 


	7. The Catch

The Catch  
  
"Hi Amanda," Steve said as he passed her on the way into the hospital "Came to see Jesse, how is he?"  
  
"Was on my way to check on him for Mark myself, while he's in the middle of surgery. Want to join me?"  
  
"Sure" Steve said grinning.  
  
They made their way around the corridors to the lift which took them up to the floor with Jesse's room on.  
  
"Hi Jenny, we're here to see Jesse" Amanda said to the floor nurse.  
  
"You're not the only visitor Jesse's had this morning" Jenny said smiling, "Seems he's quite popular this morning, his Dad came to visit."  
  
"Jenny, who told you that,?" Amanda asked, "You wouldn't have known only just coming back from holiday, but Jesse's Dad was killed only a couple of weeks ago"  
  
"Umm, that's who they guy said he was so I let him in, sorry I guess I shouldn't have." Jenny said going very quite.  
  
"That's ok, it's not you're fault," Amanda assured her, "you weren't to know, Steve I think."  
  
"I'm on it Amanda, stay here" Steve said as he drew his gun and slipped open the door to Jesse's room cautiously.  
  
As he opened it a crack he could see a man threatening Jesse, holding a knife out very close to Jesse's heart, he could hear them arguing loudly,  
  
"Morris, no, why couldn't you just leave them alone, they did nothing to hurt you." Jess pleaded, Steve could see tears streaming down his face.  
  
"No they didn't but you did, you ruined me Jesse and didn't care, you were lucky to get away the first time, I wanted you to suffer Jesse, to watch them die before you did, but I guess it worked out better, you got to suffer more in between time, it seems you're life has been getting worse, no one would doubt you of killing yourself, so I get my revenge, and you die and at least you'll be with them." Said another voice who was holding the knife.  
  
"You're sick Morris, really sick," Jesse spat, "You won't get away with me or them."  
  
"Oh but I will, see no one will suspect me, no one did the first time Jesse remember, now die!" he said as he thrust the knife forward, Jesse managed to dodge but the man Jesse called Morris kept trying. Steve decided at this point to open the door fully he aimed his gun to try and hit Morris in the arm, he wanted to kill the creep, but professionally he would never have let himself. He couldn't get a good shot, and was afraid of hitting Jesse, the pair kept struggling, in the end he hoped he had the advantage as he shouted out 'freeze'. It seemed to work for a bit, both Jesse and Morris froze, Morris had a look of fear in him, knowing he had been caught; Jesse had a look of relief on his face, though Steve could still see the fear in him.  
  
Maybe it was knowing he's been caught, or knowing he'd be going back to prison, or even the thought that Jesse had won, no one expected Morris to simple give up, least of all Jesse. He had expected a fight between him and Steve yet he simple stabbed himself repeatedly in the heart until he fell, with his last breath he shouted out,  
  
"Go to hell Jesse, you'll get what's coming to you." And at the same time he threw the knife into the air in Jesse's direction, hoping it would hit Jesse and at least cause him some sort of pain, as his last act on the earth.  
  
Jesse starred in horror as he saw the knife coming towards him, yet seemed unable to move himself. Seeing this Steve dived over towards Jesse pushing him out of the way, the knife narrowly missing the both of them, ended up embedded in the wall right where Jesse's head had been a few minutes before Steve had pushed him out of the way.  
  
Jesse looked up, the fear in his eyes had gone, instead Steve could see the pain there, pain that had been locked up for years, Jesse couldn't say anything he just started crying, leaving Steve to comfort him as best he could, knowing Jesse would tell them everything just as soon as he was able. 


End file.
